by Matty Layne
“The Five Black Lives Matter Protesters Shot in Minneapolis” – The Atlantic
buy a semi-automatic handgun for $200.
death has a price tag. automatic guns are
better for your line of work because you
can just hold down the trigger, but they
are hard to come by. semi-automatic means
you really mean it because you have to
pull the trigger for each bullet. pull the
trigger for each target because you mean it.
if you can find a gun show giving away free
bullets with your purchase, go there. the
more bullets, the better. you have so much
work to do. but either way, buy a box of
a hundred bullets for $2.99 and shoot them
all. that’s less than 3 cents per bullet—
a noble investment. every person you shoot
is worth less than 3 cents, so spend 3 cents
on each bullet and shoot them.
shoot them because they look dangerous.
shoot them because they could be packing
heat in their hoodies beneath their hoods.
put on your hood and shoot them because
they keep chanting “black lives matter” on
the corner when you know all lives matter
and black lives don’t really matter so shoot
them. shoot them and run away so you can
go shoot others that need to be shot. you
have so much work to do.
shoot them because they are alive and trying
to kill the helpless. help those who can’t help
themselves. keep them alive by killing the
people trying to kill them. shoot the officers
who try to protect the people who won’t
protect the little unborn babies. shoot them in
their patrol cars and on the street. shoot any-
one who comes to stop you. shoot the mother
before she can kill her baby. she wants to be
a murderer so shoot the mother to save her
unborn baby. 3 cents to save a baby’s life.
shoot me. shoot me first because I can’t watch
you shoot all of these people. I hate blood. it
really irks me. shoot me in the eyes so I don’t
have to see the blood. shoot me in the forehead
so I don’t have to think about all of the blood
you will spill. shoot me because I am tired and 3
cents is so much less than the pills all of this
blood makes me want to swallow one by one
like little sleep-filled bullets. shoot me.