Choice

by Rob McNair

(Rob wanted to note that most of the words in his poem come directly from Gyaltsen F. Go’s editorial in the Seattle Times, “When Pregnancy Happens and the Choices that Follow“)

Standing naked
in the mirror
my rounded abdomen staring back at me
No pills, no refills
nothing more than plain negligence and sheer irresponsibility

Child of a dysfunctional home
seeking comfort in others
to make my own existence purposeful
Benevolent intentions
that are flawed and self-serving
not yet mature
for a life outside my own

Responsible resolution
to being utterly unprepared
selfless as much as selfish
nothing to offer
but the cavity of my heart
larger than the womb in which you grow

No, no burden just love
not yet capable
Four years ago
that was my choice
not to made by another

Judged and villainized
shamed into silence
my body used and stood upon
as a podium for another man

Understanding
not stigmatization
no date to remember
My heart knows
in life or in death
you filled that cavity
All the same

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